Lies About Bananas

I'm a little tired, so I might just
repeat the lies the National Fruit Company
has told us about bananas. You know, about
how they're chock full of vitamins and their
yellow skins can be smoked for a pleasant
if not slightly debilitating "high." Also,
what about their supposedly rich carbohydrates
that add to their creamy consistency
when they are just ripe enough? Sorry, but those
are lies. How about the gas they use to ripen
bananas and how that gas gets out when you get
home and open your bag of bananas? That gas
gets in your space and clothes. Think about it.
Oh, and another few things: banana bread, banana
splits, banana daiquiris, banana omelettes, and
then there are all the pratfalls performed with
bananas in movies and on the stage. I'm over them.
Don't even get me started about plantains.