A Grand Holiday Announcement

I'm working on a project that will eliminate the need
for passwords or vaulted circumstances. I plan on plying
my trade or "vectoring" the analysis with nothing more
than shards of paper and an incline. It will shine
in a singular way, bringing an urgent joy to my
disciples with all the radiant fizz of a transistorized glass table.
After the summer of '12 there will be muscle shoals
and defense mechanisms not at all unlike the blunted
and theatrical enthusiasm for the inane and mopey.
Polyglots shall be excluded and rare earth and silicone.
I'll see to it that each and every boss with Asperger's
Syndrome are given stratagems for happiness
not seen since the days of the wagon kings. Your
holidays will roll off the roofs of your mouths
in a manner of speaking. You shall no longer need
a hushed tone to confess your transitions.
You'll no longer be fudged or inept in the face of authority
but graceful and meaty as the license you hold between your teeth.
You'll receive these details in the coming days
via chat rooms or dial-up mo-methodoids. I'll see
to it that the delivery will accompany a transistor
insinuating a reasonable lack of worry, doubt,
and most importantly: confusion. People will
love you and you will position them in your life
as reinforcements in need of no code,
always radiant, aways purposeful, forever and ever, amen.